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楼主: leeh14

cmfans板油公共日记...(水的删)...

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发表于 2006-4-6 03:01:47 | 显示全部楼层

4月6日,凌晨两点

...终于作完了最重要的一个作业,可以松一口气,虽然还剩下两份报告和一个半设计要做,但总给了自己一个理由休息一会...冠军杯还有半个小时就开始了,有点紧张,不知道巴萨能不能过关.....似乎当为了看记日记的时间时才发觉,清明节刚刚过去了...这个日子好像一直都跟我没什么关系...我认识的,死了的,要么没什么感情,要么没埋在北京...我长这么大就去过一次八宝山……还是因为有个要泡的妞住在那附近...谁知道呢,也许我这人没心没肺...总是让父亲在外面为了我努力工作,总是要老妈来帮我收拾屋子……总是要奶奶资助我...可我一看到奶奶和爸爸一天天的老去就想哭,我也没对他们表达过,N多人大言不惭的说过爱自己的亲人就要表达出来,但他们也都是最后时刻表达了一次或者根本就没表达过才作了事后诸葛亮,把时间倒回去,再给次机会,没几个人能在无关紧要的时候真张得开嘴...

我已经三天没跟我老婆联系了,没有吵架,没有任何矛盾,只是都太忙。。。还有我不知道跟她说点什么……我发现自己很奇怪……我老是对自己说,我是如此爱她,可我又老是想起其他人,可想起其他人又都觉得没有她重要,可都没有她重要我又无数次想跟她分手,可想跟她分手我又知道我会特痛苦,可特痛苦我又老觉得这样是受罪,可这样是受罪我又想永远陪着她……可……操……人他妈真是个孽畜……连猪都知道吃饱了就睡,人吃饱了只会想下次能吃什么别的……

有时候我觉得自己什么都没有,只有梦。。。因为只有梦是快乐的,也许只有我这么想,因为我已经练就到了自己在梦里知道自己是在做梦,所以就算再恶的梦,在我看来也只是个恐怖片,刺激一下而已。。。我都不知道我是太现实了还是太理想化了。。。好像我现在就是靠梦活着。。梦见以前上过哪个女人,梦见我能拍部好电影,梦见自己能去理想的纽约。。。

其实我当初要是忍了那婊子,现在我也许已经在美国了……跟她在一起不过就是天天吵架,受罪……这我跟我老婆也经历过……而她的肉体又那么完美……可那一切要是真实现了呢?也许我又会无比想念北京和我老婆……我知道初秋的下午坐在什刹海的长椅上听着琴书,想念着一个爱过的人和坐在摩天大厦的玻璃窗前思考自己是不是该往下跳是不同的……at least i need to fuck her first....

其实在哪都一样,跟谁都一样……我发现其实我就在乎我自己……当爱你的人离开你了,你其实不是因为她抛弃你而悲伤,而是因为你自己受伤害了而悲伤。。。我只是要的太多,理想太大……每一个身边的人都想留住,每一件事都想办好……四肢加上嘴都在紧紧抓着东西。。。我知道……最后的结果多半是被五马分尸……

可我就是我……就算我被分尸了……当我灵魂出窍的那一瞬间,我可能还会一边飘向天空一边看着自己四分五裂的身体嘀咕着:“靠,这他妈的才叫行为艺术……”……

……呵呵……
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发表于 2006-4-6 12:38:57 | 显示全部楼层
4月6日 晴

终于带英乙的巴尼特队升上了英冠,庆祝下......

在顺便替米兰吼一声,期待半决赛~
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发表于 2006-4-6 13:11:48 | 显示全部楼层
4月6日 澳门   阴

昨晚和她闹矛盾了……
心情不好……早上的课就没有去上……
累……

国米啊国米……究竟是老板~教练还是球员的错……
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发表于 2006-4-6 13:20:39 | 显示全部楼层
4月6日  晴

今天是剑客的生日,想起昨天的承诺
上午论坛嗝屁了一段时间,今天中午没有午休,于是赶快过来看看能不能上

今天的天气晴而且微热,心情却是愈加阴郁,那连阴的天气什么时候才能从心里一扫阴霾呢??
可是今天还是有高兴的事情,今天是剑客的27周岁生日
于是写下这篇日记,作为今天的重头戏是祝贺剑客生日快乐



[ 本帖最后由 milan_lion 于 2006-8-16 02:56 PM 编辑 ]
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发表于 2006-4-6 14:05:38 | 显示全部楼层

2nd April--------Bigfoot's Return (In Dreams 5)

Cloudy 8/3
I've been having a lot of vivid dreams lately. Some are disturbing just as others are confusing and cryptic. When I was a kid I had recurring nightmares about bigfoot. Not the monster truck but the mythical creature residing in the forests of North America. This is the thing. As a child growing up in the 90's I didn't know the difference on the subject. Is it real? Fake? What did I know? I was a kid. So for me this was a genuine fear that had grown from what I'd seen on television (good ol' TV) or in tabloids. So, as a result I awoke from many a childhood nightmare, screaming, because of this.

I recently had a dream that brought it all back. I was living in a trailer park. Making a special guest appearance was my ex-girlfriend some 'dream friends' and various others. We were all standing around gabbing away when our dog began barking towards the direction of the wall in the living room. We told it to 'shut up!'. It's barking grew louder and was now accompanied by deep throated growls. Just as I began to walk over to the dog, bigfoot came smashing through the wall. It was immense. Much bigger than I had remembered from my dreams as a child. Every detail of this creature stood out in great clarity.  The yellow in the whites of it's eyes. It's pungent aroma hung heavy in the air around us. Lips stretched over misshapen teeth. I could clearly see every knot in it's fur. I was there and this was real.

It grabbed ahold of the dog and pulled it out through the wall. The dog yelped as it was lifted away. It was quickly quieted with the sound of crushing bone. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed a shotgun. In fear of a repeat performance, I told everyone to get outside. By this time thre were many other trailer park denizens wandering around outside, some with guns in hand, no doubt investigating the cause of the disturbance. A few of the armed men approached me asking what had happened. upon telling them I got a few looks of disbelief until shadows started moving around us in the woods. One guy got a freaked out and began firing wildly into the trees. "There it is" he yelled, "C'mon!". He ran into the woods against our protests as we stood there, frozen with fear. His screams carried across the still of the night, echoing through the trailer park. Silence quickly folllowed. Something came flying out of the woods whistling through the air. His rifle landed at our feet, twisted and useless.

I began to realize what a mistake it had been to venture outside. I looked around for my friends who were standing with another group of people. I motioned for them to come near. "We should go back inside.", I said.
The futility of this began to sink in. There was no safe haven. We were at it's mercy. The others saw us retreating into our tincan and followed suit. No sooner were we inside when we heard it's deep gutteral breathing all around us. Fighting the urge to fire my weapon at random locations i put myself face to teh hole where it had dragged the dog outside. As the breathing grew louder I put more distance between myself and the hole. Bad move. Suddenly, splinters were flying around my head as powerful hands grabbed my from behind. White hot pain shot through my body. I saw the terrified faces of my friends as I was drawn into the darkness.

I awoke sitting bolt upright in bed. My body was drenched in sweat. The sheets we damp and my pillow was wet. My body was sore. Yet, I felt no fear. Instead, what I felt was exhileration. I grinned and said something to the effect of, "Cool". I laid there reflecting upon my most recent encounter with this mythical beast, wishing I could  continue this reunion as I once again fell asleep. Never happened.

[ 本帖最后由 calvinzhang 于 2006-4-6 01:09 AM 编辑 ]
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发表于 2006-4-6 14:13:53 | 显示全部楼层

4月6日 阴有时有雨

阴霾的天气........偶右腿韧带扭伤了, 走路都不方便, 加上感冒, 郁闷了

很高兴黑天鹅的巴萨能和我们会师, 期待半决赛

BRNC的队伍在壮大, 高兴
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发表于 2006-4-6 15:22:23 | 显示全部楼层
4月6日,晴

郁闷,昨天晚上拷贝的论文资料在U盘全没了...某网站可是找了80页的啊...大概是直接拔导致的结果.

今天继续昨天的事.nnd

晚上同学还要过来,身上也没米了,蹭他的吧.晚上站队还要备战大学生联赛,通宵训练.累啊.希望能运气好点.

本来想这个礼拜搞完论文初稿去实习的,前2天说21就要交实习回执了,吗的才2礼拜了,还去实习个P.

不爽,国米基本结束了,鸡肋意大利杯不能满足粉丝的雄心,期待在联赛搞了milan,然后等夏天转会和换帅.
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发表于 2006-4-6 15:26:24 | 显示全部楼层

6th April--Fête du printemps ???

Sunny 12/15

Men on nine se dirige sur la fete du printemps a mouans sartoux histoire d accorder les ficelles pour le 21 juin ...
avisssssss aux amateurs et aux fan(ne)s ....
preparez les appareil photos et les camescopes
nous on gere le matos !!!!
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发表于 2006-4-6 15:51:44 | 显示全部楼层

4月6日,晴

第一次来这里写日记。。。
昨天晚上上不来。好容易这会有工夫上了。不错。
越来越复杂的论坛。。。越来越漂亮?
妹妹缠着要去外面拍照,她姐姐从上海回来给她买了漂亮的鞋子。孩子就是孩子。我就没什么心情出去。拒绝她,好象很不满意的样子。4点出去好了。就这样了。
恩。不管怎么样,不能放弃来这里浏览的爱好。
有很多东西放不下,人生本来如此。
能就日记发表看法吗?PP?
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发表于 2006-4-6 17:48:53 | 显示全部楼层
4月6日
早上看了2场没有悬念的比赛,中午才爬起来.看见外面的地上湿湿的,心情也不怎么好.
这几天一直就很郁闷,还有14天就要大补考了.还不知道能不能通过呢
看了半天的电视剧了,书是一点都看不进啊......
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