一封给SI的公开信

荷兰剑客

文章来源:http://www.sigames.com/
翻译:荷兰剑客


If I Had My Way...
Play the Game
By Pete 11/11/2005



I like to have a quick browse of the General Questions Forum over

breakfast.  GQ to the initiated (or lazy!) is the world’s mouthpiece to

SI.  The ‘moaners’ think SI never listen, don’t test and should have

made the perfect game by now.  Of course, none of them agree what makes

the perfect game.  The ‘fan boys’ love SI so much they play a game

they don’t actually like, but won’t hear a bad word said about it.  

Then there are the ‘noobs’ who have never heard of Dave C.  Oh the

shame.

I got to thinking, what if SI listened to all of the ideas and didn’t

filter out the bad ones. What sort of rant would we see from the moaners

then.  Well, in an alternative reality, SI have done exactly that and

you can call me Victor Meldrew.  My thread would of course be neatly

titled ’50 reasons why FM is rubbish’.  Which I will change when I

realise I only have 12 reasons. Here’s my ‘open letter’ to SI…

Dear SI,

I have been a fan of your games since Football Director first appeared

on the Spectrum.  Over the years I have parted with hundreds of pounds

to line your pockets and make you rich.  Well, no more. Your latest ‘

update’ FM2006 is the final straw.

Now before all the fan boys jump on me, hear me out.  This is only meant

to be answered by people at SI or people that actually know what they

are talking about.

1) Why the **** do I have to start as youth team manager?  I can’t sign

any players.  I can’t even do my own scouting.  All I can do is pick

the team and tactics.  None of the media is relevant.  What do I care

about Champions League?  Training is boring, I just tick the right boxes

and my players become superstars overnight. I’ve won the league six

seasons in a row, without dropping a single point and still no-one will

offer me a first team management job.

I thought the whole point of the game was to play out your fantasies.  I

wanted to take over my favourite team, but I can’t. It’s just boring.

2) I finally got a job at Badgerville Athletic and took them to the

Premiership with 17 straight promotions.  I now have a stadium with a

capacity of 120,000.  This is just laughable.  Badgerville only has a

population of 17, yet somehow they can fill a stadium of 120,000.

Utterly ridiculous.

3) The game has got so predictable it’s not fun any more.  It’s like a

particularly slow version of paper, stone, scissors. Chelsea always beat

Liverpool, who always beat Aston Villa, who always beat Fulham.  Whoever

has the best players always wins.  It’s impossible to get a lucky win.

Chelsea have won the treble for the last six seasons because they have

more money to spend and buy all the best players. Aaaaaaagh! WTF.

4) I was losing money each week and I couldn’t sell any players until

the transfer window, so I decided to adjust the ticket prices to see if

I could make a bit more money.  I put the price up to ￡70, but now my

attendances have gone down.  I’m only getting 5,000 people watching my

team in the Champions League.  That’s 115,000 empty seats. What

happened to all those season tickets I sold?

I’m now ￡76 million in debt and the administrators have sold all my

best players. I’m going to have to reload the game and play the last

six weeks again.  Well at least I will be able to replay all those games

I lost because of the ridiculous affect of morale.  Some of my players

are suicidal.  I find the rope icon is particularly tasteless.

5) I’ve had to play those grey made up players for half the season and

it’s lost me the championship.  AGAIN!  My star striker was hit with a

bottle from the stand and is out for two months,  I’ve had three

players out for six months because of drugs tests and my goalkeeper went

AWOL and never came back because his wife left him when his morale was

already low.  Come on SI, it’s supposed to be a game.  What’s fun

about having half your squad obliterated by things that you can’t

control.

6) I can’t believe you took scouting out of the game.  I know it wasn’

t working well before, but why remove it?  Now I have to look at every

player myself.  I wouldn’t mind so much, but I can watch a full length

game and still not know how good a player is.  Put the numbers back in

the game. Now. Otherwise the game will die a death.

7) Worse still, I have to watch my players train to judge their

abilities.  If I wanted to be a coach I would buy Football Coach not

Football Manager.  How the hell am I supposed to know how good a player

is from watching 35 blobs run around cones?  I just leave it to the

Assistant Manager to pick my team.  He’s always right anyway, so what’

s the point in picking my own team.

8) Is this Football Manager or Media Manager?  I spend more time in

press conferences than I do anything else.  Every time I sign someone –

press conference. Before every game – press conference. After every

game – press conference.  When another manager makes a comment – press

conference.  If I lose four games on the trot – press conference. I win

four on the trot – press conference.  Aaaagh. What is this, twenty

questions?

9) Team talks didn’t have enough effect before, now they have too much

effect.  I was 4-0 down at half time, without a single chance.  By the

end of the game I had 23 shots and won 7-4.  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

10) Why oh why did you put stadiums into the 2D view.  The game runs

like a dog now and the pitch is half the size it used to be. Worse

still, I got a touchline ban and couldn’t even see the pitch or make

any changes.  All I could see was the score and all I could do was make

substitutions. If I’d have know that selecting the option to call the

referee a **** would ruin my game then I would never have done it.  What

’s the point in having it there anyway?

11) I offered Graeme Sounness a bribe to throw the game, but one of my

transfer listed players squealed on me.  I’ve been banned for four

years so now I’ve got to leave the game on holiday until I can get

another job.

12) Last year you didn’t put in any new features, you just fixed the

major bugs and updated the stats.  Was that really worth paying ￡15

for?  I think not, but like fools we all did.  So this year you say you

’re broke and add dozens of new features without fixing any of the old

problems then charge us ￡50 for the privilege.  Come on SI, we all know

how much software developers make, you must think we’re all stupid or

something.

This game is so flawed SI should hang their heads in shame.  You say you

listen to the fans.  Well it seems you listen too much instead of using

your own judgement.  I thought you guys were supposed to be the experts.

If I wanted to design my own game I would, but I’m paying you to.  

Maybe you should spend less time on co-ordinating beta tests for 10,000

users every 3 months and more time building the game.  Anyway, like I

said, if things don’t improve in the next version, I’m going to have

to stop playing for hours on end.

Yours exasperatedly,

Victor.

P.S. I’m a researcher and haven’t received my free copy yet

[ 本帖最后由 荷兰剑客 于 2005-11-23 04:51 PM 编辑 ]

荷兰剑客

如果我有办法。。。
遵守比赛规则
---皮特
   早饭后我喜欢快速浏览一下“常见问题论坛”。这个论坛对新手（或者懒鬼）

来说是官方的世界代言人。抱怨者认为SI官方从来不听意见和测试，而且到现在为

止应该已经做出了完美的游戏。当然，没人会认为他们在做完美的游戏。那些着迷

的男孩那么爱SI官方，他们在玩一个他们并不真正喜欢的游戏，但是他们不会听到

关于官方的坏话。
    我想如果SI官方听取所有的意见并且不遗漏其中最坏的，那结果会怎么样？那

么我们会看到那些抱怨的人有多少激动的演讲呢？两者选其一，SI做对了。你们可

以叫我维克多.梅尔德鲁.我思路整洁的标出50条原因来说明为什么FM是垃圾.不过

当我意识到我只有12个原因的时候,我会改了它.下面是我给SI官方的一封"公开信

".

亲爱的SI,
   当足球经理(导演)这个游戏刚出现的时候,我就成为了你们游戏的一个着迷者.

这些年我给你们的口袋送了许许多多的钱,让你们富有了起来.好了,不会在多给了,

你们最新的FM2006是最后的稻草.
   现在在所有着迷的男孩扑向我之前,听我说明原委.这个只对那些得到SI官方回

答的或者真正知道他们在谈论什么东西的人有意义.
   1) 为什么我只能从做青年队经理开始.我不能签任何球员,甚至我自己的球探.

我能做的一切就是挑选阵容和战术.没有任何相关的媒体.我怎么去关心冠军联赛?
训练让人厌烦.我只是选对了正确的训练包,我的球员马上就一夜之间变成了超级明

星.我已经连续六个赛季赢得了联赛冠军,并且没有丢一分,但是还是没有人给我冠

军球队的经理工作做.
   我那时认为这个游戏的中心点就是打破你的梦想.我想接管我最喜欢的球队,但

是我不能.这真的很讨厌!
  2)我最后在Badgerville Athletic工作,我把他们去首相那里.现在我有一个容量

为120,000的体育管.这真是可笑,Badgerville总共只有17人口,但是有时120,000容

量的体育管缺能坐满.这完全是荒谬的!
   3)这个游戏是那么容易预言,他已经不再有意思了.它就想剪刀,石头,布这个游

戏的缓慢版本.切尔西总是击败利物浦,利物浦总是击败阿斯顿维拉,而阿斯顿维拉

总是击败富乐拇.不管是哪个队,只要有最好的球员就能赢.靠运气取胜根本不可能.

切尔西在过去的六个赛季都是三冠王,就是因为他们有更多的钱去花,去买所有最好

的球员.Aaaaaaagh! WTF.
   4)我每个星期都要用钱,而且我不能卖任何球员,直到转会期.所以我决定调整票

价,看看能否多赚些钱.我把票价调高到70,但是现在观众却下降了.冠军联赛中,只

有5000人来看我球队的比赛.还有115,000个空位.我所有卖出的那些赛季票都怎么

了?
    我现在欠了七千六百万的债务,管理会卖了我所有最好的球员.我打算重新读档

,从6个星期前玩起.这样我至少可以重新进行那些由于可笑的士气影响输掉的比赛.
我的一些球员都自己毁掉了.我发现这个图表明显没有意义.
   5)我必须玩半个灰色的赛季并且我丢掉了我的冠军.此外,我的明星攻击手被看

台上飞来的瓶子砸中,要休息2个月.我有三名球员因为药检不过关禁赛6个月.还有

我的守门员擅离职守后在也没有回来,因为在他士气本来就低落的时候,他的妻子离

开了他.继续啊,SI,这可以想像是游戏!那些不能控制的事情让你们淹没了一半,这

真有趣!
   6)我简直不能相信你们把球探从游戏中取消了.我知道他以前不是很好用,但是

为什么要取消他?现在我要自己观察每一个球员.我对这个并不建议太多,但是我看

了一整场比赛我仍然不知道哪个球员好.把球探放进来吧,要不然这个游戏会死亡的

.   
   7)仍然很糟糕,我必须观察我球员训练来判断他们的能力.如果我想做一个主教

练,我会去买<足球教练>,而不是<足球经理>.可以想象我自己判断哪个是好球员是

多么痛苦.我只要让助理教练去选择我的队伍,他总是对的,那我亲自挑选队伍有什

么意义.
   8)这是《足球经理》还是《媒体经理》？我花了更多的时间在记者招待会上，

胜过任何其他事情。每次我签了个人---记者招待会；每场比赛前--记者招待会；

比赛后--记者招待会。当其他经理做了一个评论--记者招待会。我四连胜---记者

招待会。Aaaagh（阿哈），这是什么，非常不解？
   9）以前队伍谈话不会有太大的影响，现在影响太大了。我半场0-4落后，没有

一个机会，但到结束，我有23脚射门，最终7-4赢了。愚蠢，愚蠢，愚蠢！
   10）为什么你们要把体育管放进2D画面。现在游戏运行起来象狗一样，球场只

有以前的一半。仍然糟糕，我被罚出场，不能看见球场和做一些改变。所有我能看

到是得分，能做的是换人。如果我知道在游戏选项里选择裁判成为****，能国毁掉

我的比赛，那我绝不会这样做。那这个功能有什么意义？
   11）我向Graeme Sounness 行贿来控制比赛，但是我的一个在转会列表里的球

员把我揭发了。我被禁赛四年。现在我得去度假了，直到得到另外一分工作。
   12）去年你们没有添加任何新人，你们只是修正了主要的BUGS并且升级了系统

。它真的值15美元？我觉得不值，但是象傻子一样，我们都做了。今年你们说添加

了许多新人，而且没有改动以前的任何问题，向我们提供优惠价50美元。接着来，

SI，我们都知道软件开发者赚多少，你们肯定当我们是傻子或者其他什么了。
   
   这个游戏有那么多缺陷，SI真应该羞愧的绞死自己。你们说你们听支持者的。

好啊，似乎你们听的太多，而自己的判断太少了。我想你们这些家伙被认为是专家

。如果我想设计我自己的游戏我能这样做，但是我现在付钱给你们的。也许你们应

该少花点时间在每三个月的用户测试上，花更多的时间在做游戏上。就象我说的，

如果下个版本还是没有提高，我就将不得不停止玩这个游戏。




  
维克多


PS：我是一个研究者，我还没收到我的免费副本。

荷兰剑客

今天下午一边水,一边翻译了一下
时间紧,可能有许多错误
见谅

xioye

看了一眼   是不是用了工具    好多偶看不懂的中文 ......

荷兰剑客

哪些中文看不懂,你说说
要是说里面错误多,我相信,翻译完后我都没看;
要是说我用工具,那就是不尊重我的劳动

[ 本帖最后由 荷兰剑客 于 2005-11-24 08:37 AM 编辑 ]

视线

貌似在说的不是FM

难道我们玩的FM有好多个不同的版本？

park

至少意思很通顺，语句也象从真人口中说出来的，比我看到过的许多翻译要好的多

(i)nesta

貌似足球经理游戏的其他某个版本的玩家